March 2, 2001

Wow, it's March! I've been sick all week! All I've wantd to do was come home and sleep. I joined a gym this weekend *Golds Gym*. I'm, impressed with myself! Today, well tonight rather, is beautiful. You walk outside and find yourself taking a deep breath just because you feel a light warmth in the air. The sky is clear and the stas seem to shine brighter then normal. About a year ago, on a night just like this, a very close friend took me to their "Special Spot". There were no city lights for miles and miles, no houses, no street lights, no noises, it seemed as if no one in the whole world had ever known of the place we were. We had just a field, and the darkness befor us. We layed down bundled up in our clothing on the hood of my friends car. Quietly at first, we gazed happily up at the stars, as we spoke to one another almost as if we were both dreaming the same dream at once. The world, for at least a moment was perfect, calm, and wonderful. It was a night just like tonight... That little "spot" meant so much to that person, and I never really understood why until today. I miss it, I really wish I was there, once again calmly gazing at the stars that look down upon me each night. You take things for granted until they're no longer there. Events, feeling and words mean so much more when it's not happening at that present moment. But, you all know that. It just takes little events to remind us. I realised long ago you can never replace a wonderful memory. You can never "do it over". That friend and I went to that spot 3 or 4 other times, but it was never as magical as that one. I still believe it was the night. My rants get odd when I'm tired.. Sorry! I just speak as I feel the need to. Oh!! This is sooo cute! There's this little boy in my class that wore camaflodge the other day, he was sooo happy he was an "Army man" All day he asked questions "Do Army men sleep" "Do Army men eat?" "Do Army men listen?" It was soooo cute! We sat down and told him all we knew about army men. I told him there were the Marines and Air Force to, he was so amazed! I have a picture of my friend Paul (on the left) in camo shaving infront of a tent. He had asked about tents and stuff so I told him I'd bring him a picture of an "Army man" the next day ((He thinks all Military people are "Army men")) Anyhows, I took the picture (It's framed) he walked around with the picture for 6 1/2 hours showing it to EVERYONE possible!! It was soooo adorable! When he sat down for lunch and snack time he carefully placed the picture beside his plate and the entire time he ate he starred at the picture and said nothing! It was sooo cute! This was on Tuesday. On Thursday & Friday he asked me if I brought the picture back, he wanted to look at it again! Has someone ever asked you a personal question that you just didn't know the answer to? Like "Why did you say _______?" or "Why did you want to do _______?" When they asked you, you just kinda nodded and said you didn't know. Yet, later on the question come back to like haunt you? Someone asked me a very personal question back in January and it still haunts me each day! I never gave him a straight answer, after all I had no real answer. I have lots of answers now.. Some are horrible, some are wonderful.. but I STILL don't know which one is right.. Maybe it was a little of all of them.... I really don't know. Have you ever done something and regreted the "reason" you did it and yet not regret the "action" of doing it? Is that possible? Ready for my song? Hehe! It's my favorite.. Makes me cry. The Greatest Man I Never Knew (Track 8 - Time 3:14) The greatest man I never knew Lived just down the hall And everyday we said hello But never touched at all He was in his paper I was in my room How was I to know he thought I hung the moon The greatest man I never knew Came home late every night He never had too much to say Too much was on his mind I never really knew him And now it seems so sad Everything he gave to us took all he had Then the days turned into years And the memories to black and white He grew cold like an old winter wind Blowing across my life The greatest words I never heard I guess I'll never hear The man I thought could never die S'been dead almost a year He was good at business But there was business left to do He never said he loved me Guess he thought I knew I made the "Baby Avatars" page on the Kindeal's Spirit site today. It looks pretty good. I have soooooo many babys saved and sooooo many more to save that I got an idea from another page on what to sdo to kinda seperate them a little! Go look! Well, I have a lot to work on! I'm sure you're tired of reading!! Bubyes!

February 26, 2001

Wow!!! It's already the 26th! February is almost gone!! I don't even remeber it begining!! I'm sick! I'm SUCH a baby when I'm sick! I can't talk my throats sour and I sound like a frog (As the kids said) But, I'll live! I never write much durring the week cause I always feel so rushed.. Even though I'm really not! We got an award today!!!! I was sooo happy! I haven't applied for any yet (except that one) I applied for this one b/c Becky IMed me and told me about her new award, I just had to have it!! Soon, I'll start applying for awards. - Maybe Fr0sty will for me!- See it *points down* I likes!!! Do you?? I got an email today. I thought I'd put it here it was so cute!! Lookie: Tiny Angel For You I am a tiny angel I'm smaller than your thumb: I live in people's pockets That's where I have my fun I don't suppose you've seen me, I'm too tiny to detect: Though I'm with you all the Time, I doubt we've ever met. Before I was an Angel... I was a fairy in a flower: God, Himself, hand-picked me, And gave me Angel power. Now God has many Angels That He trains in Angel pools: We become His eyes, and ears, and hands We become His special tools. And because God is so busy, With way too much to do; He said that my assignment Is to keep close watch on you. When He tucked me in your Pocket He blessed you with Angel care; Then told me to never leave you, And I vowed always to be there. Isn't it cute!! see I told you you'd like it!!! Hehe!! I got work to do so I'm gone!!

February 25,2001

I was looking through Irish/St. Patricks Day web sites today. I found something: An Irishmans conscience does not prevent him from sinning; it merely prevents him from enjoying it. How true is that? Let me tell you, that sums me up very well. I love St. Patricks Day, sooooooo much! I went to like 40 pages today and signed all teir GB's Arn't you proud of me? I am. hehe, I know you care! like my pic? I think it's cute.. The ivy's a little messed up, but it's darling none the less. I haven't been putting graphics latley and I had no where to put this so I thought i'd show it off here :O) How come what you "want" never works out to be what you "need"? Have you ever wanted someone to be something sooooo bad you almost believed they were like that? The words they said meant what you wanted them to mean and not what was really said? Has something in your life ever been turned totally upside down and then a little voice from the past wiggles its way back. Pulling your hopes up as if it's all going to be the same again? How many times have you heard "Let's start over", "Just foget it" or "Let's have a new start?" I've said it myself... I came to the conclusion that no matter how long two people are apart that pittiful little thing that broke them away will always be there. People don't "change" and if they do once you put them back into the situation or relationshop they were in, they will always resort back to their old ways. Take a "Wife beater" for instance, you place him in a relationship and he's happy.. Perhaps they get married.. He beats her when he gets mad. She leaves him, and he goes to another. He's "promised" himself he's changed and yet when he gets mad he beats her too.. The chain never ends.. Till he ends up in jail. If people pretend to change that's worse. I've done some strange things in my life, that I'm sure others have, and I'm fairly emberassed to admit them. Temptaion overseeds wisdom.. It sucks. I've tried most of my life to look beyond the yerning, but it's hard.. Say you were in *love* once.. You broke up with the person and one day you found yourselves alone with each other.. You "get togehter" whether it be talking, dating or more.. See. You know it's not going to work out but "when you're together" it's perfect. Reality hurts.. If there were only two people in the world with no influence the world would be "perfect" I still don't understand why we allow ourselves to attach to things we can't hold on to. Have you ever wanted something soooo bad, and just couldn't have it? It's depressing. It kills your spirit and makes you feel rejected.. I have so much in life that's confusing and so much that, if it gets out of hand, it could hurt many people. Nothing life threatoning but hurtful none the less. Feelings, exspecally to a teenager, or adolecent is hard. Many younger people going through this stange feel like it's the end of the world. For it's all they've known. Adults on the other hand know it'll all get better, for they have been hrough it. They mearly look back and laugh at themselves.. Some kids don't "get through it" No one's there to tell them it'll all get better.. Some get drepressed and others kill themselves.. Where and I going with this? no where really.. It's just a rant.. I'm ranting... I'm writing what I feel. It changes moment by moment. I have all these appreassed feelings from the past and presant I want to get out. So.. when I'm home alone (like now), no one's on to talk to and I'm left to think it all comes out.. One time I was talking to someone and I asked them if they wanted to go out with some guy. Her reply was "No, I don't *want him* he's just my soul mate".. I don't understand that.. How could you not want to be with a person you thoguht was your soul mate? Am I missing something here? I'm a lyric person remeber> Here's another one that makes me cry :*( Wish You Were Here by Marks Wills They kissed goodbye at the terminal gate She said, "You're gonna be late if you don't go" He held her tight, said, "I'll be alright I'll call you tonight to let you know" He bought a postcard, on the front it just said Heaven With a picture of the ocean and the beach And the simple words he wrote her Said he loved her and they told her How he'd hold her if his arms would reach (Chorus) Wish you were here Wish you could see this place Wish you were near I wish I could touch your face The weather's nice, it's paradise It's summertime all year And there's some folks we know They say, "Hello I miss you so, wish you were here" She got a call that night, but it wasn't from him It didn't sink in right away, ma'am, the plane went down Our crews have searched the ground No survivors found, she heard him say But, somehow she got a postcard in the mail That just said Heaven With a picture of the ocean and the beach And the simple words he wrote her Said he loves and they told her How he'd love her if his arms would reach (Repeat Chorus) The weather's nice, in paradise It's summertime all year And all the folks we know They say, "Hello I miss you so, wish you were here" Wish you were here

February 24,2001

Let me tell you I'm a smart one! I haven't been uploading this page!!! Peoples emailed me and asked why I stopped making rants and I thought they had lost their mind! I'm cool let me tell you! I feel pretty special that people actually READ these things! Make me feel like I'm actually doing somehting worth doing :OP. I was off work today! I cleaned out my closet, you know time to throw away all the clthing that doesn't fit.. Needless to say I have 5 shirts and 3 pairs of pants left.. Sad.. I went shopping today.. to attempt to buy clothing.. I'm a female... I tried.. I'm haveing a "fat" day. So I ended up buying baggy boy clothing.. A sweat shirt, one shirt and two pairs of pants. (One for working out, the others were jeans) It was sad, I bought nothing... It was depressing!! I have no clothes! All my old shirts are red.. Long story.. But I dislike red now.. Phases suck! I used to wear big baggy clothes and I no longer do. I haven't had to really have "outfits" because I've always worn a uniform at work.. and god knows I have no real social life in the winter. So, I have NO clothes.. I made two more pages for Kindeal's Spirits well, I'll today! I'm happy it's coming along!! I just need to promote it lots and lots and lots and lots. THEN, if it does get lots of visitors, I'll get the page it's own domain!!! Spiffy huh?? That's how it works! I work hard, it gets a domain :OP. Holes In The Floor Of Heaven - Steve Wariner One day shinin' eight years old when grandma passed away I was a broken hearted little boy blowin' out that birthday cake How I cried when the sky let go with the cold and lonesome rain momma smiled said, don't be sad child grandma's watchin' you today 'Cause there's holes in the floor of heaven and the tears are pouring down that's how you know she's watchin' wishin' she could be here now And sometimes if you're lonely just remember she can see there's holes in the floor of heaven and she's watchin' over you and me Seasons come and seasons go nothin' stays the same I grew up, fell in love met a girl who took my name Year by year we made a life in this sleepy little town I thought we'd grow old together Lord I sure do miss her now But there's holes in the floor of heaven and the tears are pouring down that's how I know she's watchin' wishin' she could be here now and sometimes when I'm lonely I remember she can see there's holes in the floor of heaven and she's watchin' over you and me Well my little girl is twenty-three I walk her down the aisle it's a shame her mom can't be here now to see her lovely smile They throw the rice, I catch her eye as the rain starts comin' down she takes my hand says, daddy don't be sad 'cause I know momma's watchin' now And there's holes in the floor of heaven and the tears are pouring down that's how you know she's watchin' wishin' she could be here now and sometimes when I'm lonely I remember she can see yes there's holes in the floor of heaven and she's watchin' over you and me watchin' over you and me I often listen to music while I'm on the computer (If I'm not listening to music I'm watching TV) Many songs effect me, the way I think, feel, act and even what I write. They make me remeber good times, bad times, and just strange things. Some make me cry others dance.. I guess that's kind of the point to the lyrics huh? None the less, I love country music for that reason alone. I find that it effects my emotions the most. Rap and Rock always seem to get me in a depressed "thug" attitude. I spent to much of my life like that! Speaking of which I LOVE this song.. Goodbye Earl-Dixie Chicks Mary Anne and Wanda were the best of friends All through thier high school days Both members of the 4H club Both active in the FFA After graduation Mary Anne went out lookin' for a bright new world Wanda looked all around this town And all she found was Earl Well it wasn't two weeks After she got married that Wanda started gettin' abused She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses And make up to cover a bruise Well she finally got the nerve to file for divorce She let the law take it from there But Earl walked right through that restraining order And put her in intensive care Right away Mary Anne flew in from Atlanta On a red eye midnight flight She held Wanda's hand as they Worked out a plan And it didn't take 'em long to decide That Earl had to die Goodbye Earl Those black-eyed peas They tasted all right to me Earl You're feelin' weak Why don't you lay down And sleep Earl Ain't it dark Wrapped up in that tarp Earl The cops came by to bring Earl in They searched the house High and low Then they tipped thier hats And said "thank you ladies if you hear from him let us know" Well the weeks went by and Spring turned to Summer And Summer faded into Fall And it turns out he was a missing person Who nobody missed at all So the girls bought some land And a roadside stand Out on Highway 109 They sell Tennessee ham And strawberry jam And they don't Lose any sleep at night 'cause Earl had to die Goodbye Earl We need a break Let's go out to the lake Earl We'll pack a lunch And stuff you in the trunk Earl Well is that all right Good Let's go for a ride Earl Hey Likies??? I do.. It's sad if you listen tot he words but it's sooooooo funny! M'k I've bored you all enough today with my music thatyou already don't like so I'll be gone!! bubyes!!

February 23,2001

I fell asleep last night while writing my rant! IT's FRIDAY!!!!!!! *dances* I love Fridays. I get to stay up as late as I want and work on my pages!! Hehe, sounds kinda boring to some of you but it makes me VERY happy! I have soooooo much I want to get done I don't know where to start! I made "child safe graphics, that I will hopefully get sites to put up. Fr0st and I are in the process of making an awards page, but I'm slow :) I really need to clean my room it's a mess! Yesterday and snowed and there was a 120 car pile up.. I think the exact number was 124.. but I'm not totally sure.. That a lot!!!! 1 person died and 10 were in serious condition.. it was all over the news yesterday. They said it was so bad, after the people got hit they got out of their cars and just watched there cars get demolished, cause cars kept coming and hitting the back causing a chain effect.. I'm so glad it wasn't me. I feel sorry for everyone in the reck, and anyone that was even near it. If you were in this please know I'm praying for you all. If you were in it or know of anyone who was please tell me so I may present them with this graphic.. I know it's not much.. but, it is acknowledgement. The snow all melted today, there's a few patches but nothing big.. That's what always happens around here, it snows and you can play in it for one day. The next day it melts. It's just not fair! Hehe! At least we get snow. I was talking to someone the other day and we were talking about moving to Florida he said he had to have at least one snow. He wanted it on Christmas Day otherwise all would be perfect and we could live in Florida... I can't remember the person who said it but I remember it was someone very close to me. I'd love to live in Florida! I hate the snow.. Well I hate being in it. looking at it happily from my window's all good, otherwise it really stinks!

February 22,2001

Hallo! I haven't witten in a while I know. I'm slackin'! Work's becoming work now but it's still great! Tomarrow's FRIDAY!!!! Yeah!! It mad snowed today. I may join a gym! I'm excited! They have a tanning bed too! So I can be tan *dances* I love being tan. My friend and I worked out yesterday for 30 minutes and I'm not even sore. I'm impressed! I'll know Wednesday probably what I'm going to do. The only crummy thing is, they have no pool. But, that's life. No one really wants to see me in a bathing suite anyway.

February 18,2001

Let's see... I need a hair cut BAD. I'm gunna go in a little and get it chopped like... 6 inches. My friend and I have a contest on who's hair would grow the longest in a year! We cut out hair the same length January 5th 2000. the verdict would come on December 5th 2000. the good thing is, I won. The bad thing is, my hair's REALLY long. I cut it once in January 2001, but it wa slike a trim. I was so amazed that it had gotten as long as it did that I didn't want to cut it. Since I was always at McDonalds it was always up and I never had a second thought about it. Now, I want to wear it down, it's to long to do anyhting with soooooo I'm choppin' today! It'll be layered a little below my shoulders. Hopefully It'll cut out most of my perm and hen I can just straighten the rest. I have naturaly curly hair but it flattens easily so its not a problem. I started signing GB's for Kindeal's Spirit yesterday. It's coming along REALLY well! I like it alot. I'm trying to make sure I'm watching p00h.org too. It used to get 80-90 visitors a day and it's not windling down to about 40-50 a day :(. I need to promote both some how in GB"s with out the over kill. Maybe I'll sign it up for something, a fight or a top 25 list. I dunno what I'm gunna do. Any suggestions? Fr0sty doesn't write much. He says he's not good at writing. He lies, I like what he writes. He's always really busy though, if he's not at work or school he's with me. We're both off today!! But he's in Tulsa soo... I don't get to play wif him *sniff* Hehe's, I'll see him tonight, so it's all good. I'm gunna make him write more *nods* He needs to! He says he can never thing of things to write. I can never shut up! Once again it's that talking and thinking to much thing that always gets my in trouble!?!?! Oh! Fr0sty joined RAOK!!!! yeah!!! Now at least he'll know what I'm babbling about and even be a part of it :P hehes! I love him!! He's such a sweety. A long time ago when we started the page Fr0st asked me if we needed a message board or a chat room.. I told him I dind't think anyone would use the chat room and message boards ALWAYS get people in trouble. What do you think? I'm in the middle of making a "furnature" page. It always takes me a while tho' even though it's a "graphics" page I still hate to have only graphics. I always try to have like something that you can read or do while the page is loading. But furnatue... What can you do for that???? There's over 50 graphics "for" the page (I think it'll be two pages) and I have NOTHING to write. Okay, I went to get my hair cut :P Yeah! It's short for my but to my shoulders, layered and thinned. Cool cool. I likes. I lef tto get my hair cut at 3:00 it's not 3:35. Pretty sweet huh? If only everything in the world went that fast!

February 17,2001

Yeah!!!!!! I'm off!!!!!! I'm getting work done now!!! I'm sooo happy! Well, the Valentine Contest is over and so are the Secret Valentine Games. Maybe I can rest for a few days! The Easter egg games are coming soon! I've already got some made! I'm very exited. But then again, I'm ALWAYS exited! I drift into my own world some times, I often wonder why. I was sitting here today listening to someone spout off her ideas of a perfect friendship. I realized that after loosing a person very dear to me that I became very "uncaring", not that I don't care, just that I don't take time to put up with others emotions, if I don't feel it will benefit me.... Sound selfish? I guess it is.. If I get in a fight with someone I just ignore it till it goes away, rather then confronting the problem.. I'm too blunt sometimes; you know what I mean? I speak my mind and that often gets me in trouble, not to mention makes me look VERY bad to others. At least I know what's wrong with me, that's more then I can say for half the world! I realized today that no one knows all about me. Someone I held very dear to me used to know everything, you could ask the person anything, and they'd smile and just spout off things even I couldn't tell you, about me. Just because that person spent so much time with me, and actually cherished the time spent, as did I with that person. Well, as all things seem to go, that person is no longer by my side as they used to be--for uncontrolled reasons I don't care to discuss. That person was alot like me then. They acted and reacted as I did. (Most of the time) They looked for "affection" only when I was in the mood to give it. The person always seemed to know what to do and when to do it. The relationship was equal, give and take. There were no lost emotions and we talked about everything. Nothing was never planned it just happened, and it was perfect. They always understood. We started to grow apart and all that compromise slowly drifted off with our lives. Fighting took over and our lives no longer corresponded with one another. Words unwanted and unsaid started running through our heads and we lost all the hope we once had. My whole world fell apart. I guess you'd call that a 1st love. I really don't know. In the time after this, I've had lots of things happen to show me that I have changed. Many good and some bad too. Many more people have effected my life but nothing like that. Females, in general are very *lonely* we have emotions I'm almost positive males do not hold. We keep little things, notes, pictures, gifts, etc. often when we get into a lonely stage we sit ourselves down and pull out those old memories, wallowing in them for hours on end. Sitting in our self-pity we look around ourselves and smile. We know we have had good times even though the bad seems like they will never end. The world's what we make of it, nothing less and nothing more. Our love goes to only what we give it to. Holding the pictures and letters in front of us, tears streaming down our faces we nod to ourselves. Some of us give a little smile. Standing up we put away all the symbolic things we were looking at. Some females stop here; they are satisfied knowing all will be better. Others pull all their courage together and go out, almost as if they're going to change everything in a day! Granite, sometimes this works. Often after I loose something dear to me I'm *lonely* for a week or so, I get over it and all's well again. The last time I lost something dear to me, it was a love I thought could never die and a best friend at that. I was depressed, truly depressed for almost 4 months; I still get a little discouraged when I think about it. I tried everything, and that was the problem. When you're in a "pit of sorrow" nothing you can do on your own will make it better. Something that savior puts a bruise on your soul. You'll never forget. Something worse might scratch over it, but it'll always be there. Later on in life when you look back you laugh at yourself for feeling and acting in such a manner over something as petty as your heart. I'm told there no such thing as "love" Well, perhaps their definition differs from my own. Perhaps you can help me out. What is: "One holds a strong yearning for another human being. One would have a fascination for every move and every detail of the other's day. Dreams are filled with the subject in reference. If a loss occurs one would be subjected to feeling rejected, hurt, saddened, often times depressed, and in extreme cases, suicidal." This is love, in my own opinion, of course. Once, long ago, someone who said they "loved" me, I of course "loved" them back. He asked me what I meant when I told him I loved him. I had no response to such an outrageous question. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Love was love! I bit my lip and said calmly: "It's the butterflies in my stomach when you touch me." He looked at me almost blank. I never knew what he thought. I was baffled, I still am. But, it was true, that was one reason I loved him. I didn't know what those butterflies meant at the time.. But I meant it with all me heart! All these thoughts came to my head today, not because I am sad, I'm far from it, just because someone did something today that made me think of him more. I'm friends with many of those whom I have loved in the past. Perhaps somewhere I still hold a love for them I will never forget. I cannot deny that. No one can. You can't honestly say that you hold no joy in memories you've had with a person, even if you hate their guts on the outside! I promised no hidden messages. This isn't one, I promise. The people I speak of are not named for a reason, no hints have been placed about them at all. There are more then one or two people I refer to here. At times I refer to two separate times in my life in one sentence. Please don't email me and say "It's you" or "I never knew that" it's probably not.. Ah! There I go again being mean! I swear I'm working on that!!! I was looking at my old rant page today. I think that's where this rant sponded from. I found something in the jumble of mess that was me. It means alot to me. It's a poem. It may mean nothing to those reading it, but it's symbolic of many memories I have. here, read it, I think you'll find it adorable: Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight Or gazed at the sun into the fading night? You better slow down Don't dance so fast Time is short The music won't last Do you run through each day on the fly When you ask "How are you?" Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed With the next hundred chores running through your head? You'd better slow down Don't dance so fast Time is short The music won't last Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die 'Cause you never had time to call and say "Hi"? You'd better slow down Don't dance so fast Time is short The music won't last When you run so fast to get somewhere You miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift.... Thrown away.. Life is not a race. Do take it slower Hear the music Before the song is over. I guess I'll shush now. There's lots more on my mind but I should save it for tomarrow. Perhaps give your eyes a little rest! Bye all!

February 14,2001

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!!

February 13,2001

Sorry!!!! I've been soooooo exited and so happy latley I've bearly been on my computer!!!! Tomarrow the RAOK Valentine games end :( The good this is I get to find out who my secret Valentine is!!!!! YEAH!! Speaking of which, do you likie my locket?? My Valentine made it!!! It's REALLY pretty, even if "I" am in it!! hehe!! I love it soooo much! I went to sub way today, ((an old McDonalds manager works there and asked me to come by so I did)) I don't really know why it's all the important I just thought it was. Hehehe. Did I mention I REALLY REALLY like my job!?!?!?! I'm in a class now and starting tomarrow I'm going to make lesson plans and help teach!!! I'm VERY exited! I didn't write yesterday b/c of work. I'm trying to get myself situated, on a schedule again and it's hard. So if my rants are a little off base or a few days I'm sorry! Wells, I'm off to send all the love I possibly can befor tomarrow!!!!!

February 10,2001

Hallo! I relized today that I'm making loading time for this page horrible!!! I love my gifts and really want to display them all but I think you guys are going to stop reading if I do!!! Well, I finished the front page to Kindeals site!!! I'm sooo happy! Now you can go to: https://kindeal.tripod.com/ and it'll be a page!! And it's easy to remeber!! I also got aoo my horoscopes up and updated on Kindeal!!!!! I love country music, I think I've told you that before.. I dunno.. But, I do!!!! I was sitting here writing this page and I head this song and I had to get the lyrics, it's soooo adorable!!! I just had to share it with you. It's by Alabama. READ: I was walking home from school on a cold winter day Took a shortcut through the woods, and I lost my way It was getting late, and I was scared and alone But then a kind old man took my hand and led me home Mama couldn't see him, oh but he was standing there And I knew in my heart, he was the answer to my prayers Chorus: Oh I believe there are angels among us Sent down to us from somewhere up above They come to you and me in our darkest hours To show us how to live, to teach us how to give To guide us with the light of love When life held troubled times, and had me down on my knees There's always been someone to come along and comfort me A kind word from a stranger, to lend a helping hand A phone call from a friend, just to say I understand And ain't it kind of funny at the dark end of the road That someone lights the way with just a single ray of hope Chorus They wear so many faces, show up in the strangest places To grace us with their mercy, in our time of need Chorus To guide us with a light of love Okay, I hope you like it!!! It's soooo sweet!! When I was younger I saw a sap for poetry I loved it sooo mcuh!! Now I listen to songs and hear the poetry in them. I like sad songs (lost my dog my gf left me) you know the "standard country songs" I used to get mad when I was younger, when people made fun of country music. Saying it's all sap songs. Well, it's not but those are the songs I've gorwn to love. I put my RAOK graphics on my Pooh page, under "gifts" I think that's where I'm going to keep them! It's not uploaded yet, I'm havig problems with my FTP sooo, it' should be up tomarrow!! Look then!! Sorry to run off but I have work tomarrow!!! Bubyes!!

February 9,2001

Hallo!!! look at all my wonderful gifts!!!! If you're not a member of RAOK I suggest you join!!! It's wonderful!! I love this secret valentine thing!! Sorry about all the graphics latley! I'm just all exited about everything that's going on recently! It's soo hard to keep everything together right now in my life. I got a new job and I'm still working a the old one. I'm not going to have a day off till mid march! Even then I'll have two jobs (right now I have three) so, if I'm not dead I MIGHT be able to enjoy it!! Right now I have lots to do! I am making a new web page, that's comming along WAY TO SLOW for my own intrest but it's comming none the less. I get on live everyday and check my mail, go to palace and make my rant page, once that's finished, I log onto my "secret valentine" name and send my valentine goodies. Then I come back here, and go to palace again. THEN I work on my page *if* I have time, which I never do. :(. The one good thing is that since Nick also authors the page, sometimes pages are made when I get home!!! I'm makign a page for a clan (on palace) called QTpies. They're so nice! I feel bad b/c the girl I'm making the pages for is always in bed asleep by time I get home to get on line so I never get to talk to her about making the page. I used to do it when I had a day off.. Well.. that's not going to be for a LONG LONG time! So you see my predicament! As many of you know I make banners, buttons and graphics for people. Ihave a few '"regulars", one being Woo's Wonder World of Pooh. Her site is sooo cute and she's the sweetest person alive so I don't mind getting emails requesting banners and buttons from her. I made her some stuff today and she sent me this little Pooh, isn't he cute? She's going to put it on her page so I'm good and not going to put it on mine. I'm linking it here so you can all see the wonderful graphic and to like it to her!! Go and see her!! You'll love it! Hehe!!! Great day to you all!!! XOXOXOXO

February 8,2001

Hallo!!!!!!!!!! I got the job!!!! They called this morning and I was soooooo exited!!! I still am! I went to work and it would have been a day from hell but I was soooo happy it didn't phase me!! I love this little natrual high I got!!! I hope it lasts for a long long long time!! Kindeal's Spirit is coming along REALLY well! I'm setting up horoscope pages now, 4 to 5 horoscopes per sign!! I made 60 images just for horoscopes!! I love them!! Hopefully people who see them will to and will adopt them, like they have from my P00h.org page! I promised I wouldn't write anything bad here that's why some rants are shorter then others. Some people get under my skin some times, ever have that happen? Well, I don't know how to deal with them so I yell. Oh wells, today is a good day!!!! I love this whole Secret Valentine's thing with RAOK!!!! My Secret Valntine is Sweet Tart. I won't know her real identity until mush laters! I asume it's a she.. Cause.. I dunno.. I may be wrong.. I hope not! We'll pretend, if it's not a she I'll tell you when I find out!! Hehe! Anyhow's I got a few cards aready, I'm not gunna like those because the links will exspire. today I got a wonderful gift in the mail!!! See it ---> Sooo cute!!! I love it!! Isn't it just the best?? I have to go to work at 10 am on the 9th (it's actually 12:55am the 9th) I have soo much to do so I'm going to make this rather short today :( I'll write a long one tomarrow I promise!!!

February 7,2001

Okay, I thought I'd get to write every day.. I was wrong. :) Kindeal's Spirit is getting better and better!! There's about 5 or 6 pages to the site now!! It's moving along well, about 2 or 3 new pages a day!!! Oh Valentine's Day is comming. In the past I always saw it as a usless halmark holiday. Well, that's all changed this year!!! No, I have no one to shower me with gifts and long lasting effection, and no I have no exspectations for anyone to do so! I'm part of a group called RAOK (Random acts of Kindness) They have really brightened up my life! I used to look at things as always being bad, nothing was good unless it was for and about me. I was very selfish. I joined RAOK because I knew I had to change myself. It worked!!! I'm so exited about the upcoming things at RAOK!!! Beacuse of RAOK Valentine's Day now had a meaning to me!! Thank you all! I'm also in AIT (Angels in Training)- They are also wonderful! I haven't *really* got into them as much as RAOK, I don't really know why. The two groups ae a lot the same. I think they're both VERY wonderful!! I opened my email yesterday and this little graphics was sitting there!! How cute right!?!?! I felt so loved :) They don't even know me! See, this is why I joined AOK and AIT, so I could make people smile like I did when I got this graphic! Ah! What you all want to know (heh) My interview! Well, I went in and the pasted a big name tag on me and put me in a class room. I got to go to preschool!! That's where I wanted to go! I really enjoyed it and I really hope I get this job! The kids are soooo cute. The Day Care is so well established too! They treat the kids so well. They teach them alot too!! It's almost like a school. The kids are very happy too!! you don't always see that in day care centers! speaking of my interview, I'd like to thank all the RAOK members and everyone else for all their kind words! They really made me feel more ready for the interview! I got fr0sty to make his rant page!!! I'm soooo exited!!! Hehe's!! He's the cowriter of Kindeals Spirit and since *I* had to make a rant page I made him make one too!!!! Hehe! you'll like his more, it's not as long and it doesn't take long to load! Go look Fr0sts Rant Page!!

February 4,2001

Okay, I know the last one was REALLY short and I didn't write yesterday. That's for a few reasons. One being, I said I wouldn't put anything bad on this, and yesterday.. Nothing good happened! So, that's why I didn't write and the day before ALL I could think about was the interview! So, there's my exsplanation! I'm working on a new page right now, it's an Avatar page! My friend Fr0sty (Nick) is helping me out! It's looking REALLYgood so far, I can't wait till it's up and functional!! You all have to promise you'll go see it! I may add this rant page to Kindeal's Spirit (My new page) But then Nick would have to agree to make one. I'm off from McDonalds for the next two days!!! Yeah for me!! Now I'll be able to get lots of work done on my web pages and perhaps have time to cool off a little! I'm so exited about Feb., I belong to this group called RAOK (Random Act's of Kindness) I love it soooo much! I make lots of friends and at the same time I get to brighten up peoples day. Sometimes I sign GB's -wth images such as the one on the left- I send people cards, letters and so on. Sometimes for no reason at all, just to be kind. This is my nature. Some of you may be reading this and asking why? Well, I am the happiest knowing others are happy. I don't know why it's just me I guess. Anyhow's in Feb, we're having a secret valentine thing!! It's going to be fun, I think!!! You'll see all my gifts here!!! I'm sure you'll love it just as much as me! Keep a look out it all starts, Feb. Herm.. I listen to Country music. :P Never would have guessed huh? Yes, most people are confused by this too! Country music sooths the soul. There's always songs that pertain to something that's going on in your life right at that point. It makes me laugh, cry and think. I love it! I get a lot of greef for it but I don't care!! OMG!!!!!! Do you guys know what "buff" is? Like if I said "I'm buff" ??? I was joking at work today ((We hae to much fin sometimes)) and I said I was buff, cause I had carried 100lbs worth of fries from the freezer to the front. They looked at me like I was crazy. I said "Don't you know what buff means??" They all shook their head, one guy goes "doesn't it mean ugly?" Heheh people are funny!! just in case you don't know, BUFF -in my terms- means strong, or muscular. It can also mean Nude.. but that's not how I meant it!!

February 2,2001

Hallo!!!! I'm soooooo exited!! I've been looking for a new job for a while now. *McDonalds is sooo stressful* I was looking through the classified Employment section and found a perfect job!! A "Lead and Assistant Teacher" for a day care center right beside my house!! I'm so exited! But I've said that a few times! I have a working interview on Tuesday the 6th! Wish me luck! I hope all goes well, we'll see!

February 1, 2001

Along with working on my web page I go to a *chat* called Palace. You go into "rooms" with backgrounds that look like a room.. Some are inside, like kitchens, some outside like gardens and some are just backgrounds. In these rooms you are a picture, or an aviator. When you speak a bubble of your words come from you. (Example's on the right ->) Cute huh? It's so fun. You can change everything and wear anything. --If you want to see more aviators look through my horoscopes-- You can be animated, trade clothes, edit and more. I recommend it to everyone!! Wells, in these rooms you can lay out things called props (pieces or what you can wear) I got a lot of furniture and stuff, so does everyone else there. We went into a room and set it all up (we get bored easy) Well, it took lots of effort so, I copied it and left it to show you all here! Do you likes? I said yesterday I was thinking about making an aviator web page. It would have rooms like this and dolls all over it.. Kind of like this P00h page.. just a different theme... What do you think? Email me if you think it's a good idea, or a bad one, I'd like come feed back please!! Those of you who have known me are aware that I had a rant page on my old web page, Kindæl's Spirit. I assure you, this rant page will be nothing like that one. After all, this is a page for children. This page will hold only "happy" memories, and no "hidden" messages. Unless, they're happy ones!

January 31, 2001

Wells, I guess I better start with a lil' intro... To make up for the "author" page I'm not making. I'll only do it once; after all I want you to come back! I have a web page in which I love and I'm always trying to promote! The Internet is seemingly my life in the winter. I'm 19 years old, 20 in May. ((May 28th if you wanna' shower me with gifts *hint hint*)) I'm a manager at McDonald's and I make web pages for people in my off time. Right now P00h.org is my only personal page, normally I have more pages up but I decided to shut them all down and devote myself to P00h.org till it got up and running. I'm planning on making a "doll" or Aviator site, a Dragon/Role-playing site and a Precious Moments/Japanese dolls site. They'll be on construction for a while and no doubt be on Angelfire rather then receiving their own domain, until I'm sure they will be successful. I'm a HUGE Winnie-the-Pooh fan. My favorite Character is Tigger, it always has been. Then why not name my page Affiniti's Tigger Pages? Well, I figured there are enough pages about "Tigger", (as if there's not enough about Pooh.) so I decided to make one about them all. It proved rather successful I must say. Taken @ Aug. of '99 Taken Halloween 2000 Taken January 2001 Oh yes, me.. There's three pictures, no one ask anymore! It's hard to write about myself.. I don't know why it always has been. Let's see.. I'm about 5'3" I'm a shorty I know this. I live in Virginia by Washington DC. Everyone who works in DC lives where I live. All the rich people that are to powerful to live in DC; Senators, Government Employee's Secret Service Men, Professional football players and so on. It's like the Beverly Hills of Virginia. No, I'm not rich. My family thought we were till we moved here! Now we're like the lowest class in this area. My house is huge, I've never seen homes this big! Three stories, 4 bedroom, 2 full baths, 2, ½ baths. Mine's nothing compared to the others around here! There are castles, No joke, I'll take a picture of one and pop it on here, you'll see! My -huge to you- house is nothing in this land of the rich. Let's see, I graduated, high school, in 1999. I have yet to go to school since. I'd love to go to college but time, money and transportation does not permit. I have no license, which is important to a lot of people for some reason. I get around though. No, I've never had my license never even had a permit. I'm scared to drive, I know as soon as I get behind the wheel of a car I will die. I have no sense of directions (because I'm a woman) and I don't pay attention to anything. Keeping me off the road is a benefit to all! I'm saving lives here, you should be thanking me! I have violet contacts (starting tomorrow) and long brown curly hair. Those picture's are really funny.. But no one likes their pictures so yeah..I think that's all! I hope you like my first rant!